My positive birth story and how it changed me


I am a big advocate of positive birth experiences and that includes anything that has been positive for the woman in the way she has given birth and in the way she has felt about it.

Our experiences are what we make of them. Like anything in life you get what you put in and I am also a big advocate of actually ‘working’ on making your own birth a positive experience. It is not only a medical experience, it is your body and your mind that are involved and are in charge as well as the rest of everyone else involved from your birth partners to midwives, consultants, etc.

So as far as ‘working’ on making your birth experience positive there are many things you can do. For my first child I did some of it but not enough, as it transpired afterwards. I did a hypnobirthing course and read the book and did the ‘visualisations’ but they were not enough on the day and labour was long, didn’t progress well and ended with interventions. However through hypnobirthing I learnt to accept the way labour actually went and consider that experience to be positive after all i.e I was not bitter. Second time around I wanted it to be better and first and foremost I wanted to understand how it actually worked and what were the phases of labour and who actually did the work of birthing the baby.

Understanding the physiology of birth 

I learned that it was the contractions and the womb that functions as a muscle and through the contractions makes so that the baby is born (midwifes and doulas out there feel free to correct me if not exactly rightly worded).

The way I learnt about this was through a birthing doula which is an amazing person to have by your side when you go through labour.

As it happened the doula was actually not present during the birth of my second baby (as the baby arrived very quickly) but the conversations with her and the way she explained the birthing process to me were amazing and enough to make me feel confident that i can do it.

The thing I couldn’t get my head around was how could I go through labour something similar to an operation i.e as painful as that without any pain relief or anaesthetic.

And this is what I learned, I learned that my body and mind have an amazing mechanism of coping with pain, as long as I was not scared or panicking (read producing adrenaline) but relaxed and ‘in the zone’ (producing oxytocine, the love hormone and also the hormone that facilitates chidbirth). This completely changed my perception and made me believe that ‘I can do it”, ‘my body can do it” and as a result ‘took away the fear’ from me.

The altered perception of pain

From the notes my doula gave me there was a section about the physiology of birth and somewhere and the ‘altered perception of pain’ which is something that happens in the brain.

So during labour there are two types of messages that reach the brain, one is the pain from the contractions and the other is the ‘I can cope with this’ signal transmitted after going through a contraction. Apparently this second message reaches the brain faster than the first causing what is known as the ‘altered perception of pain’, or in simpler terms less pain. Dimmed lights, music, massage can help getting into that state and once there, it is easier to continue labour, feeling encouraged and euphoric.

So for me, reading and understanding that is what did it, what turned me from someone scared to give birth to someone that can understand the process and thinks ‘I can do it’, ‘it is possible to do it’. What I needed was to be in that state of confidence and belief for as much as possible. It also made me realise that giving birth is not like an operation because it is part of the body’s function and the body is built around that, and giving birth is not an external thing but completely internal.

The excitement of seeing the baby and the knowledge that the baby is what I am going to have at the end of this, made the journey acceptable and even exciting.

Other things you can do to get ready for birth 

A healthy diet – it goes without saying and for me more so 2nd time around

Having a daily rest

Lots of relaxing baths 

Sleeping on the left side – especially after week 32 it is thought to encourage the baby to position itself in an optimal position for birth which is OA (occiput anterior which means baby’s back against your tummy)

Reflexologie sessions – i did for both my children as they were both late.

Swimming regularly

Homeopathic remedies – I swear by colophylum for a quick and efficient labour. I took it for a week, after my due date with baby nr 2 and I believe it made my labour faster

Perineal massage with almond oil – I swear by this as well, for reducing the risk of tearing, I had no tears the second time round

Listening to yoga nidra relaxation tracks from the Yoga Nidra Network which are available online and free

Maggie Howell natal hypnotherapy CD – you can download them from itunes and I did that just before going into labour and listened to the track as I got into bed. It did something magical to me, it send me to sleep for 2 hours and by the time I woke up I was in active labour and only 2 hours 45 minutes after the baby was born.

Having a great birthing partner – for me it was my husband and he did an amazing job, massaging my back and thighs, holding me during contractions and being in charge at home, on his own. The plan was for us to meet the doula in the hospital but we had no time, by the time I woke up. So we stayed at home, paramedics arrived in the last 20 minutes to catch the baby and it was ‘unbelievable’.

So what about you, what has your birth experience been? Do you feel that having a positive birth experience matters? And how have you made it so. I would love to hear about it.

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Photo of me taken by my husband

I am linking to the fabulous Aby’s Linkylink!
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