The weekly writing challenge: snapshots has invited bloggers to describe with words something we have seen that has impressed us, instead of snap! Taking a photo.
For this one, what I saw was an image of an old factory turned into hospital covered in the red light at sunset. Even if I had my camera with me and had tried taking a picture the image wouldn’t have described ‘what I saw’. What I saw was an impression tainted with feelings, of sadness, sorrow but also love and compassion.
Love for myself and other people in my situation. Love for all those unborn babies or those that are gone too soon, and all their loving parents.
In that hospital with a chimney I had initially been to fill in the forms of my first pregnancy. I had then returned for the numerous tests following the loss of the pregnancy at 10 weeks. Such excitement was short lived and turned into sadness and a feeling of being powerless.
What I saw at that moment some time after the miscarriage while I was on a train, was the image of this promised little baby that never grew bigger. It was a moment of warm energy because of the sunset and the red light, but also of remembering the feeling of disappointment and sorrow. And finally as the train was moving faster I was taken away by a moment of renewed promise, of a new bright day starting again.
The only way for me to describe this moment is with words. I wrote a little poem at the time to record how I felt so that I could remember the exact feelings. It is below and it is the first time I am sharing it.
Chimney covered in red
A bright day is over, bringing a red sky
Red sky at night is shepherd’s delight
I feel impatient for tomorrow
From the train I can see the factory’s chimney
Its peak covered in red,
wearing the sun’s light
That particular peak means a lot to me
It sings with a baby voice,
a baby that was never fully grown
Left behind the trail of the sun
the factory revamped into a hospital,
falls into the nights’ sweet dreams
The river’s waters look warmer in red
but not enough to make me forget
I close my eyes
Tomorrow’s promise takes me away